It’s OK not to be OK 

As I am battling a nasty cold, I would like to remind you (and myself) that it is OK not to be OK. Whether we are talking about physical health, emotional difficulties, or mental struggles – it does not matter. We are human beings with our perfect imperfections. We deserve to take our space and take our time. This is our space-time continuum, and we are allowed to live anywhere on its vast expanse. 

I feel grateful for being reminded of my vulnerability every now and then. As a recovering perfectionist, it is not that easy for me to allow myself rest. When I am not OK, I tend to grind my teeth and push through all the pain, exhaustion, and emotional turmoil. But binge-watching Netflix on Wednesday (very time-appropriate catch up on the new Wednesday series) was the only activity my energy-depleted body and mind could manage. And that’s completely OK! 

Taking care of myself when I am not OK is a skill that I have learnt quite late in my life. Just like speaking and writing in English, it can take a long time for a non-native speaker to learn. I consider myself a non-native self-care enthusiast. At first, it seemed like such a waste-of-time to me! I mean, how can I take a break and rest, when I am in a flow state creating these training guides for work? How can I take a day off sick when there are these important work meetings that I absolutely must attend? And even more importantly, how boring is it to just lay around and relax? How can anyone stand this inactivity at all? 

This attitude has resulted, not surprisingly, in my job burnout last year. Sadly, it is not just about work for me. I always put a lot on my plate (food included). I have many interests and projects that I would love to complete. It is extremely difficult for me to cut out something from my long list of hobbies. It is almost mission impossible to prioritize my to-do list to my satisfaction. There is always something that I would rather be doing at any given point in time. It’s so exhausting to be me! 

If you cannot relate to these feelings of overwhelm and hyperactivity – good for you! If you do relate though, then this is your reminder: you are allowed to take time and take space on your own terms – take as much as you need and desire! If life circumstances do not allow you to take care of yourself, ask for help. Ask for help repeatedly, until you to receive it. And then ask some more! 

I am the last person to tell you that you can just fix your burnout with meditations and hot baths. We do need to act and make sure our environment does not contribute to our health deteriorating. We do need to take medications sometimes. Some circumstances must change before we can permit ourselves not to be OK. Still, many of us have already made our environments comfortable enough to allow us taking a break, making time to rest and recover, having a nap. Yet, we often still push through unnecessarily. We push, and push, and push. Until WE break. 

So, please, today take that break. The world will wait for you. Our busy lives will wait for us. All these things you and I have planned, they can be done more efficiently once we are OK again. Anyway, productivity is not King. Life is King. Live that life on its terms and accept what you cannot change – sometimes that is the best we can do. We do not have to focus on self-improvement all the time. Really. It’s OK not be OK!