Today I would like to propose a slightly controversial viewpoint in the body-image discussions on body positivity versus body neutrality. I believe that the balance for living, breathing beings can only achieved when there is constant movement around some “neutral” point. It is difficult, or maybe even impossible to move in one direction without additional supports. At some point, the balance will simply be lost.
The gravity should help clarify what I mean. Try standing up on one leg to see this at work. As you feel into your body, you will quickly notice slight muscle movements as your position is adjusted to make sure you are in balance. Some of these movements can become bigger and eventually, unless you are very skilled at one-leg stands, you will have to support yourself in order not to fall. We do this balancing act almost at any point when we are not in a fully horizontal position.
Similarly, the work-life balance is not the end-goal state but rather this ever-changing condition, where sometimes there is more work, and sometimes there is less of it. However, any big increases of workload disrupt the balance in a similar fashion as the prolonged standing on one leg does. Eventually, without any additional support, we may fall, and if we are not careful, we can even experience a job burnout.
If we apply a similar logic to the body image topic, we can clearly see that for our lives to be balanced, we should expect natural movements in both directions. Some days we will not like ourselves very much – indigestion or injuries happen to everyone. Other days, we will enjoy how our bodies feel and work – we may even feel very grateful for the pleasure they give us. Most of us will eventually find this generally neutral space, where we typically don’t think that much about our bodies. Until of course something gets more out of balance, and we need to address it.
I believe, however, that striving for pure neutrality in body-image work does not really make sense. Even if it were possible for human, living beings to be fully neutral, due to the cultural upbringing many of us learn to be extremely critical and negative about our bodies. To balance all that negativity, it is not enough to just be “neutral” – that will still leave us out on the negative side of this equation! It is necessary to start feeling positive about our bodies – even if it is only sometimes and for some parts! Once we get some pluses that outweigh minutes, we can find that neutral, OK, good enough space of feeling at peace in our bodies.
How can one start the process of changing the attitude towards one’s body into a more positive one? In my experience, there is only one way: practice. At first, any positive feeling about our body may feel extremely fake or unnatural. We may have ten negative things popping into our heads immediately when we think of one positive. That’s perfectly normal. It takes time to change our habits – any habits! And yes, I suggest that our poor body-image is largely habitual. We simply got used to the negative thoughts and feelings around our own bodies. We have heard other people expressing mostly, if not only, negativity about their bodies for all our lives!
Although this simple “practice” method is simple, it is not easy to implement. That’s when support is so very, very useful. A therapist, coach or other weight neutral professional can provide much needed feedback in the form of a “reality-check”. Having a support team can help challenge the negative beliefs much faster. Eventually, through practice, one’s beliefs can become a positive influence in one’s relationship with the body. Once there are more positive thoughts and feelings, the state of balance is reached. Once the body neutrality can be somewhat maintained, the support is no longer necessary.
Still, that balance in body-image area will likely be lost again. That’s the nature of it. Our bodies will age and get sick. Our health will decline. The practice we have done at one stage of our lives may not be sufficient for all of the subsequent stages. So, we start anew. We practice again – substituting the negative with the positive, with or without the support. With time and repeatedly, we will return to the state of being OK in our bodies. Never purely neutral about them, but able to find as much peace and freedom as being alive allows.
AGGA Coaching 
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