Grateful State of Being

The darkest weeks of winter seem to be also the weeks when most of us celebrate gratitude in one way or another. We give and receive gifts. We feast. We give thanks. Whatever your cultural tradition, there is a high likelihood that you also have some kind of celebration where being grateful is at the core. Collectively we have always known that gratitude is good for us – we never needed all that scientific research which is now backing it up.

However, we are typically not that grateful on a daily basis. The once-a-year traditions of Thanksgiving, Hannukah, or Christmas are meant to serve as reminders, but often fail to convince us to continue gratitude practice on an ongoing basis. So, sometimes we are reminded that we should be grateful for what we have and receive when we no longer have or receive what we need. I suddenly feel so grateful for my unobstructed breath when I fall ill with a respiratory virus (which is sadly my current state of health this week). Yet, I barely notice how easily my breathing flows on any other day.

We forget that everything can change (and likely will) at any point of time. Our good health taken for granted today can turn bad. Our work can bring burn-out. Our family may dissolve. We can lose the roof over our heads due to unforeseen events. All these things and more are just as likely as our continued happiness and prosperity. However, we forget this is the case, so we forget to be grateful. Grateful for here and now. Grateful for our immune systems when we are sick. Grateful for our bodies still working the best they can. Grateful for our jobs, homes, families, and friends. Grateful for everything and everyone around us.

Why being grateful is so difficult then? Is it because of our constant activity and the lack of time? Is it because of the lack of acceptance? Is it because we want so badly to be in control, that we cannot be thankful and appreciate that most of the life’s processes our completely out of our control?

It is sometimes easier to practice gratitude when troubles are present, but not always. I find it easier to be grateful for my general health today as my body is fighting off the virus. But, years ago, I did not find it easier to be grateful for my ability to breathe or walk when I had all time low body image issues and felt ashamed of my body. Like many dieters, I also believed I cannot appreciate my body at all, until it fits the societal ideal of thin and healthy. I call this a twisted anti-gratitude logic and I can spot it in almost everyone with any weight-loss goals.

Gratitude is an unlimited and wholeheartedness appreciation of what you have right now. Being grateful for the body, emotions and thoughts is necessary in the body-image and disordered eating work. However, it typically involves taking small steps as we are often not ready to accept and appreciate the body we learned to despise. As we list or think of all the smaller and bigger ways in which our bodies, emotions, and thoughts are serving us every day, we unlearn the critical, negative, and destructive attitude towards ourselves.

There are many various gratitude practices one can try – simply journaling and listing things we are grateful for being some of the primary methods. I personally like to include it in a meditation practice. I can also recommend checking out one of the recent podcasts on The One You Feed for an interesting conversation about gratitude as well as further advice.

Whatever we are grateful for, however small and fleeting, deserves our full attention and cherishing. Whether you are drinking from your favourite coffee mug each morning or have just received some great news – being grateful for both will positively affect your life. And remember, just breathing is sometimes enough. Especially when breathing does not come easily.

Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, the cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.”

Wu-men Hui-K’ai