Mindfulness in Health and Sickness: Steps to Heal with Compassion

This is the time of the year when I usually get reminded of impermanence and mortality. I am that one person, who catches every possible infection. This is the third or fourth of coughing, but I am so tired of it as if it was already lasting for months. At least, having many similar experiences with illness and pain in the past, I have learned my habitual response is just to power through. Recognizing and understanding the problem is the first step in solving it 😊 

Powering through is not healthy… 

As a chronic migraine sufferer, I get this urge to power through very often. I want to be productive. I want to do fun stuff. I want to live a normal life. Guess what? Powering through does not help me achieve any of those things. Powering through is what makes the quality of my life even worse. Every single time I try to push my limits, I pay with more days of pain or illness. And it has been a very busy period for me, in which the work-life boundaries were stretched beyond what is comfortable. 

Habits are difficult to change… 

Changing our habitual responses is hard. Our awesome minds learn habits to save valuable resources in the future. Our brains do not want to waste energy on decision making when a simple response “works”. Unfortunately, the definition of “it works” can be really flawed – that solution of powering through can “work” in the moment (for that day or even a week or two), but it will hurt you in the long run.  

Change is possible… 

Fortunately, we can change even the most long lasting and ingrained behaviors. Understanding the habit loop concept with the cue, behavior and reward steps can be helpful. Noticing that we are right smack in the middle of the behavior we wish to stop is important. However, nothing is as crucial for a successful habit change as self-kindness and compassion. 

Kindness is the answer… 

Whenever we are in pain, any pain, we often add additional layers of suffering ourselves. We expect too much of ourselves and continue working despite difficulties. Then we blame ourselves when this results in more pain. We believe we are broken, not good enough, or not smart enough to figure it out. Newsflash everyone! We are not broken! Indeed, we should first focus on changing how we respond to the “unwanted” habit, whatever it is. Instead of berating ourselves, simply applying some love and care to our wounds can allow us to finally dissolve the unnecessary layers of suffering. 

Steps to practice in health… 

When all is going well and life feels good and joyful, simply pause, relax and open to that experience. Enjoy it as fully as possible. Take deep breaths. Be present. And most importantly, notice your thoughts, emotions and behaviors in these happy moments. Observe with curiosity and experiment with quieting down the mind and relaxing the body. The more you practice when you are feeling well, the easier it will be to practice when it is not so… 

And steps to practice in sickness or pain… 

When pain is present and illness stops you in your tracks, take time to pause and notice too. It may be more difficult to be mindful. You may need to start slowly, touching the painful spot briefly. Resourcing and tending to the pain with kind words and touch. Repeating many times. Slowing down. That is the best response for the difficult times. Resisting the urge to speed up, to power through, to judge. Eventually, it will become a new habit – a new wise response. 

I joined a week-long online silent meditation retreat last week to address my own tiredness and sickness. This was my time away from normal activities, distractions, news, and all overstimulating external inputs. I feel very privileged to be able to take that time to heal and rest and wish everyone had at least some opportunity to do the same, when needed. 

Have you had some time to take care of yourself lately?

By the way, when I write about pain, I include all categories of anguish: the physical, the emotional, the mental. Sometimes we need a helping hand to deal with challenges in life, so if you would like to have a short chat with me, my free 30-minute call is the best way to arrange that. May you be healthy and well – as free from pain and suffering as possible 💚